It Was Bound to Happen

by DeLora Frederickson

In 2006 my Mom was living in El Paso, Tx by herself.  We talked on the phone everyday so we were pretty connected.  She started telling me that she was falling on her daily walks in the park.  Then one night I got a call from her friend…my Mom had fallen at home, called 911 and been taken to the hospital.  They determined she had a uti and released her to her friend who took her home. From that moment on my life was changed forever.

It wasn’t a uti – it was 6 meningiomas (brain tumors).  I immediately flew to El Paso and so began the journey of the tumors.  I brought her to Austin and eventually she had spinal and brain surgery. She only had three removed.  But this made a tremendous difference in her mobility.

We (Cat – my partner and I) lived out of town in a small house and we needed a different home to facilitate her recovery. We purchased a huge house in town and moved her in with us.  She lived with us for 2 years – and it was painful! Living with a parent is just not meant to be after childhood.

She progressed well and moved into her own apartment.  That went pretty smoothly for a few years.

We knew the tumors had been growing slowly for about 10 years so didn’t expect them to return so quickly. After about 5 years we started seeing the same symptoms – difficulty walking was the most prevalent.

We got in home care for a few hours a day.  My Mom loved her. But things got harder for my Mom and she needed more help.  Thing is…have you ever looked at the price of assisted living in the United States?  (Think $4500/month easy) Good grief! My Mom has some money but not ALOT.

Cat and I had been planning to leave Texas and had visited Tacoma Washington a few times to look at houses.  We were excited and had looked at places for my Mom up there. THEN the US elections happened and Trump happened.

Our plans changed quickly.  We decided to move to Mexico.  I began my search for an assisted living center in the area we wanted to live. I found a great facility through an online connection.

We sold all our stuff including the house. It was sooo stressful.  Because at the same time my Mom needed more and more help. ABout 2 weeks before we were leaving we had to move her to an assisted living facility.  Better but not great. For $4500/month I expected her room to NOT smell like pee, for her bed to be made everyday, and for them to help her bathe. Guess I was asking TOO much!

Those last few weeks were like being pulled through the eye of the needle.  But we finally got it all done and drove our Subaru full of our stuff down to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.

About a week after arriving I flew to Austin and brough my Mom down here.  We flew – it was an easy trip for both of us. We arrived at her new home and tried to settle in.  It just never fit though. She stayed 2 months in a beautiful location with amazing help…but all the other residents had alzheimers and she does not.  It was depressing and we all knew we had to find another solution.

Thank goodness for Be Well San Miguel.  Deborah helped me find a new home for her.  She is in a condo with 24/7 care. The woman running the care team is an angel from heaven!  And if we didn’t already know it we would soon enough.

My Mom has fallen probably 100 times over the last 12 years and never broken anything.  So when she fell in August we really didn’t think her hip was broken – but we soon realized we needed medical help.

And this is the point of this whole blog!  My Mom was admitted to Hospital Mac for broken femur repair.  

Her surgery was scheduled, we met her doctors, and we had our angel from heaven right by our side the entire time.  She translated, supported us and loved my Mom through the whole thing.

The surgery didn’t go as planned.  

Read Parts 2 and 3 here: 
It Was Bound to Happen – Part 2
It was Bound to Happen – Part 3